Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Randomize
