I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
