It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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