i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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