at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
