never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
