i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
