There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
