i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i came on her dog
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
