You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
