I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
