Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
