Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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