Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
