You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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