he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize