I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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