I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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