DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
