Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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