I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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