Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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