hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
