Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
