he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
