piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I currently don't understand fingers.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
