Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
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