Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
