I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I have tasted many bathrooms
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize