Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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