i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
