Your mouth is God's brothel.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
