What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
