So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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