I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
