Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
