I am puke
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.