so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.