I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.