As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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