I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?