Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
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is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
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hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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