i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.