Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic

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  (402): god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic http://tfl.nu/9rrm
  Replies (2) Good night (1381) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

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  (714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality. http://tfl.nu/yabq
  Replies (10) Good night (805) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...

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  (636): this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for... http://tfl.nu/dqoy
  Replies (17) Good night (4361) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.

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  (612): Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment. http://tfl.nu/63yr
  Replies (11) Good night (3740) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.

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  (404): I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me. http://tfl.nu/iup7
  Replies (12) Good night (738) Bad night (4578)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.

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  (205): we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit. http://tfl.nu/3r6b
  Replies (14) Good night (4920) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.

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  (724): I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard. http://tfl.nu/gkmc
  Replies (62) Good night (9653) Bad night (1546)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true

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  (330): We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true http://tfl.nu/pl0k
  Replies (23) Good night (4159) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.

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  (780): I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now. http://tfl.nu/ehba
  Replies (10) Good night (1377) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G

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  (503): I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G http://tfl.nu/pzjk
  Replies (5) Good night (1740) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?

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  (303): I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day. (720): When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30? http://tfl.nu/a4tl
  Replies (3) Good night (1691) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years

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  (720): At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years http://tfl.nu/t2xh
  Replies (0) Good night (655) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.

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  (203): Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off. http://tfl.nu/jh7m
  Replies (5) Good night (337) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now

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  (215): Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now http://tfl.nu/6dgv
  Replies (5) Good night (304) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"

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  (719): What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family" http://tfl.nu/mzlk
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (203)

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