She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
