i permit you to call me
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
