dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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