Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
