I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
