ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
