wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You need Xanax blowdarts
did i just pee glitter
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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