I smell stomach acid.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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