Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
