I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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