I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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