In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wish my penis had an off switch
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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