So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
