it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He shit in the fireplace
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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