DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize