i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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