You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
