if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize