): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
