I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
NoShamevember. You game?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
