The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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