I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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