sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
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I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
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I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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