U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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