How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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