He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize