i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dicks are not precious.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
