I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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