Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
