Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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