69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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