Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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